Angel Above

22 years ago marks a day that will forever leave a hole in my heart.  My sister, Taylor, earned her angel wings due to a heart defect called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.  When I was younger it was always a day that we visited the cemetery and talked about what we thought she would look like now.  She died at such a young age, that we never were able to form a strong relationship with her, maybe a good thing but certainly a sad thing.  

As I get older though, the selfish part of me has a harder and harder time on this day every year.

 Would we be best friends? 

 What would it really be like to have her here?  

My brother is one of my best friends but I wish I was able to have that special sister bond with her.  I wish she was here to stand beside me at my wedding and be a part of all of the planning.

:-(

She is here though, constantly by my side.  This part makes me so glad to have an awesome God. I am lucky to have a guardian angel that I know is always watching over me.  I know she is living happily in Heaven and is rid of her broken body which is a huge relief. I long for the day though in which we are reunited in Heaven and get to do all of those sister things.

Miss you Taylor Lynn and think of you every day baby girl!

Surgery Shenanigans!

 

I can't complain about how my recovery went after surgery.  I could have gone without the re-opening of my incision due to infection but in reality, I felt 10 times better after this was done.  The day that he cut it open, he told me that it would take approximately 8 weeks for it to completely heal.

 

  I had an appointment exactly 4 weeks from him leaving a large hole in my stomach and got completely cleared!  Cleared----never have to come back!  It had completely scabbed over/healed two days prior to my appointment.  Now, his "looking good" and my "looking good" certainly didn't match up but he said it would take a year to fully heal and rest assured, I could have plastic surgery on it after that year was up......I think I'll pass.  (We drove down to Iowa City, sat in the waiting room for 10 minutes, talked to the nurse for 5, and saw him for 5.  Waste of time but oh well....Got the A-Okay to start back at Next Level Extreme Fitness and couldn't have been more excited!)

 

Two weeks after being discharged from the hospital, I was told I could start "walking".  Meaning, I could go to The W and walk around the track.  1 day of this  and I was over it.   I tried out the treadmill and felt really good.  I wasn't supposed to get my heart rate up too much due to there being a large hole in my stomach that could bleed.  Blah, blah, blah. 

 

I couldn't believe how much better I felt when I got back into my groove and into the gym every day.  Now, I had to take a nap immediately after getting home because it wore me out but it was worth it.  My competitive nature had me mad at myself for only making it 20 minutes that first week or so and I had to be reminded that I just had had major surgery.

 

After a few days of walking, I began to test out the jogging.  A couple seconds here and a couple seconds there until I could do a whole minute at a time.  Gavin typically got on my case and told me to stop but I'd get sneaky and take the dogs out and jog around out in the field with them.  I was feeling good!  I actually called my doctor and gave him the low down that he needed to say it was okay for me to run. :-)  (Kind of asked....kind of begged!)  While he wasn't exactly thrilled, he told me I could as long as I wasn't over doing it!  Whoop whoop!  That same week, I went shopping with my mom and had to go home after an hour I was so wiped out.  I'm pretty sure the surgeon took out my energy reserve with my appendix.

 

Fast forward 3 months after surgery and my scar actually looks pretty good, I'm doing well, and am back to everything.  Doesn't mean I like the looks of it and will be totally comfortable rocking the swimming suit, but it is losing its color and releasing from the tissue under it.  I'm starting to have a slight problem though.  SCAR TISSUE!

 

It hurts. It continues to spread. And now some of it is getting really hard and feels like a saw under my skin.  I saw a PT a month or so ago who showed me how to massage it, which I do every morning.  But man or man, that stuff is relentless and continues to grow.  Anyone ever felt marbles under their skin?!  Seems to by my case. 

 

Our/My Morning Routine

Relationships are about compromise, correct?  We're pretty good at it for the most part.  Other than my morning routine, that is.  I don't like when it is changed or gets interrupted.  Gavin on the other hand lives his life with zero routine!  It drives me NUTS!  I think he feels this in return.  My day is run down almost to the minute because of school and I struggle to not do this at home as well.

Morning is my favorite time of the day. Like, I LOVE mornings.  I like being up early and getting things done.  My early is probably considered night time by most of you...  I am excited to get up and get my day  underway, workout, and head off to school.  I am typically up before my alarm and lay there until it goes off.  I will sometimes push snooze and lay there till 4 if there isn't any laundry.  Here is a little run down of our morning routine battle.  Keep in mind that Gavin HATES morning and anything that has to do with it.  Like with all of his life HATES morning.  Let's be honest, he could be a professional sleeper.

3:55--My alarm goes off. Gavin doesn't even hear it.  I get up and fold laundry and get another load started.  Typically do some sort of cleaning.  I hate doing this at night.  When I get home from school or a night work out, I like to eat supper and sit on my rear and do nothing.  I have a case of the "Rottink's" as well because as soon as I sit down I fall asleep.  Watching a movie or any t.v. show is virtually impossible.

4:20--Give Gavin a wake up call from closet.  It's dangerous to wake him up.  Kind of like waking a sleeping bear.  I feel zero love in the morning and I find this whole process kind of funny.

4:25--Laugh at Gavin moaning and groaning about having to be awake.

4:27--Remind him he has to get out of bed and getting ready for the gym.

4:29--Not so nicely urge him to get up and get moving.

4:30--Start making the bed with him in or out of it.

4:35--Head downstairs to get my workout bag, fill our water bottles, and get in the truck.  Pray that Gavin didn't go back to bed.  Typically do some Facebook creeping at this point as I wait.

4:40--Hopefully we are on the road to the gym.

5:00-6:00--Workout.  Watch as Gavin trickles in late.  We come in the same car but he is still moving real slow at this point and never makes it in for the stretching.

6:10--Get the truck and pull up to pick Gavin up at the door.

6:20-7:15--Get ready for school, feed the dogs, eat breakfast, pack my lunch, and head for school.  In that order, always!

By the time I get to school, I typically feel like I have run a marathon already but struggle if it is any other way!

Last Decisions

This whole wedding planning thing has been pretty easy actually.  I'm all about simple.  If I find something I like I go with it and don't stress about it.  Everything is pretty well done and I haven't spent a lot of time on it since a week or so after Gavin proposed. 

I did drag Gavin to the bridal store this weekend though to get tuxes picked out.  And to the jewelry store to pick out his ring.  If you asked him how much fun he had, he may tell you he would have rather been anywhere else in the world......  It didn't help that the bridal store was CRAWLING with people!

One of the last (big things) that I need to get decided is what we are going to do with flowers.  I really just want to do Baby's Breath...simple.  Maybe throw in some carnations here and there.  I don't want to spend a lot of money on them though either.  They die.  And typically rather quickly.  So the past couple of days, I have spent some time looking in to whether or not I could grow it myself, with a little help from my family.  I think that is the route we are going to go. 

 If we have dead flowers at our wedding, sorry!!  Just laugh about it and know that the thought did cross my mind and I chose to go with it anyways!!! There are no promises that things will turn out right.

I am always thankful for helpful hints as well! :-)

I'm Over It!!

Winter.  I'm over it.  Unless it is going to dump a foot of snow on the ground, it isn't welcome.  (I am a little kid when it comes to snow storms.  I love the thought of being snowed in and deep snow to actually play in.)  I am ready to be done with the freezing cold temperatures. Ready to be done with winter coats, stinky snow pants, snow boot liners, lost mittens, stolen hats, inside recess.....

 Ugh. Inside recess.  Kids need fresh air. Teachers need a break.  We all need to see something other than the four walls of our room.  There have been times when I hear the inside recess announcement and want to so badly tell my kids to get dressed and run to the trees at the edge of the playground and back as quickly as they can.  Just to get some fresh air.  But then I think about how painful the process of everyone getting dressed is...  Some of my little ones spend most of their time messing around in the hall and spend relatively little time outside.  I am pretty sure I could put $500 at the end of the hall and it wouldn't make them move any faster.  There was a day last week when they finally got to go outside and I challenged them to run around the whole recess.  Please oh please get some of those wiggles out but please oh please avoid getting your snow pants soaking wet because I do not want to stick my arm down them to get them right side out!

End of rant!  I really do love my job!  But would really appreciate some nice weather and so would my kids! 

We have been plugging away in our out-of-routine weeks that are speckled with snow days and late starts.  It has been awesome to see some of my kids taking off in their learning and showing so much growth.  I finally feel like I am getting back into the full swing of things and have my feet back running on the ground.  Bring on the report cards and conferences, its about time to feel overwhelmed again..

Oh.my.word! The Common Core (the standards that our students are supposed to have mastered by the end of the year) is stressful and requires ALOT of work!  On top of trying to assess my students and record all of the data, I am currently taking the last of the classes I need for my Masters.  They aren't difficult but require time....and well, there aren't enough hours in the day.  

Hope you have a great week!  Attempt to stay warm and cross your fingers that Spring is near!  I am off to do some posting for my class and waiting to see if the wind chill is going to leave us with another, routine wrecking late start!

We're Getting Married!

You read that right! Gavin proposed!!

It's been just over a month ago, that Mr. Wonderful dropped to one knee and asked me to marry him, and I couldn't be more excited!  This past month has been spent not only getting back into the swing of things from being down for the count but also doing LOTS of wedding planning.  I can honestly say I have most of the planning done.  I hate making decisions so if I found something that I liked, I just went with it!

Got a date.
Got a church.
Got a reception venue.
Got my dress.
Decided on lots of little details!

August 30th, 2014 with be the day we say I do!  Mark your calendars, we're throwing a party!  Our ceremony will be held at Orchard Hill Church in Cedar Falls and our reception will be at The Centre in Waverly.  As for my dress, you'll just have to wait and see!

Proposal details....
Gavin had originally planned on proposing while we were deer hunting during a hunt on my family's land.  I ruined his plans by getting sick and having major surgery!  He then switched his plans and was going to do it the same day he had planned but in the hospital instead but explain his original plan.  I ruined his plan one more time and got discharged a day early.  He ended up hunting with my dad that day instead while I hung out slept on my parent's couch all day.  Whoops.... He then planned on Christmas Eve and began driving to my parent's house to ask my dad a few hours before we were going to be heading there.  His plan was to call my dad and have him meet him at my grandpa's for help with a Christmas present.  When he called though, my brother answered the phone and let Gavin know that my dad had just changed out the water in his wood burner (that was treated with chemicals so the pipes wouldn't rust) and the cats had unfortunately drank it and died.  Anyone that knows my dad knows that he LOVES animals and was pretty upset about this!  Sooo, Gavin turned around and came back home.  That's three of his plans that went down the drain.  He had planned to propose before we went out to my parents but it didn't happen.  We went out before church and took dinner to my Grandpa.  When we got back, Gavin was finally able to grab my dad as they pulled vehicles into the shop and asked for his blessing.  We went to church for Christmas Eve service and before opening presents at my parent's house, he dropped to one knee and asked me to marry him.  We were in my bedroom at my parent's so it was just the two of us!  It didn't work out quite like he had planned but it was perfect none the less!  We were able to spend the night with my family and the next day with his.

So God Made a Farmer

Over the past 13 years, we have thanked God for more time on earth with my Grandpa.  In 2000, he had a major stroke that caused him to lose mobility to the right side of his body.  While he was able to walk, just enough to get himself from point A to point B, he struggled to talk and never moved his right arm again.

This past week, my Grandpa gained his angel wings.  I know he flies free of his body and is strong again.  The week was hard but we were also able to breathe a sigh of relief--Grandpa is no longer a prisoner of his own body.  

My family spent the week looking back at family pictures, telling stories about Grandpa, and looking at some of his Navy memorabilia that we have never seen before.  We found pictures that reminded of us of his vibrant smile before his stroke and lots of pictures that showed just how hard of a worker he was.    Maybe even some awesome RAGBRAI ones in which he typically sported cut off jeans and a button up shirt.  How that was comfortable--we will never know!

We gathered on Saturday at the country church just down the road from my parents house to celebrate his life and say our goodbyes.  While we know that Grandpa is in a much better place, it was certainly a tough couple of days.  His funeral was filled with his favorite flowers, music, and stories of how he loved animals and his gardens.  My dad got up and spoke which was a surprise to all of us.  No one can prepare you to see your dad hurting like that.  He did a great job though at reading Paul Harvey's So God Made a Farmer and creating an awesome picture of Grandpa in heaven.  It was a perfect description of my grandpa and one that I know my dad wanted to read in honor of his dad. 

We know that Grandpa is working in the gardens of heaven and raising some of the most beautiful petunias anyone has seen!  We smile knowing his right arm is strong again and that he is spending quality time with my sister and cousin!

As we left the church and headed to the cemetery, we drove Grandpa through his yard one last time.  One last time by his bird feeders, the grain bins, and cattle set up.  As we were doing this, there was a hawk that circled over head and we all smiled knowing that Grandpa was watching over us.  It was breathtaking!  One of his favorite things in the past few years was to watch the birds!

While we will miss seeing him on his Dixon mower by his gardens, reading the paper with him, and his   tootsie roll candy dish, we are relieved that he is in a much better place and with our Savior, Jesus Christ!

I'll leave you with the words that describe how I will always remember my Grandpa Rottink!

And on the 8th day, God looked down on his planned paradise and said, "I need a caretaker." So God made a farmer.

God said, "I need somebody willing to get up before dawn, milk cows, work all day in the fields, milk cows again, eat supper and then go to town and stay past midnight at a meeting of the school board." So God made a farmer.

"I need somebody with arms strong enough to rustle a calf and yet gentle enough to deliver his own grandchild. Somebody to call hogs, tame cantankerous machinery, come home hungry, have to wait lunch until his wife's done feeding visiting ladies and tell the ladies to be sure and come back real soon -- and mean it." So God made a farmer.

God said, "I need somebody willing to sit up all night with a newborn colt. And watch it die. Then dry his eyes and say, 'Maybe next year.' I need somebody who can shape an ax handle from a persimmon sprout, shoe a horse with a hunk of car tire, who can make harness out of haywire, feed sacks and shoe scraps. And who, planting time and harvest season, will finish his forty-hour week by Tuesday noon, then, pain'n from 'tractor back,' put in another seventy-two hours." So God made a farmer.

God had to have somebody willing to ride the ruts at double speed to get the hay in ahead of the rain clouds and yet stop in mid-field and race to help when he sees the first smoke from a neighbor's place. So God made a farmer.

God said, "I need somebody strong enough to clear trees and heave bails, yet gentle enough to tame lambs and wean pigs and tend the pink-combed pullets, who will stop his mower for an hour to splint the broken leg of a meadow lark. It had to be somebody who'd plow deep and straight and not cut corners. Somebody to seed, weed, feed, breed and rake and disc and plow and plant and tie the fleece and strain the milk and replenish the self-feeder and finish a hard week's work with a five-mile drive to church.

"Somebody who'd bale a family together with the soft strong bonds of sharing, who would laugh and then sigh, and then reply, with smiling eyes, when his son says he wants to spend his life 'doing what dad does.'" So God made a farmer.

~Paul Harvey, 1978